A Light in Shining Darkness
by Camz0r
Summary: The Courier and Boone have teamed up to take on the wastes together. They face all kinds of difficulties out in the wastes as the Courier tries to find the man who shot her. As the time passes the Courier starts to remembering more things from her past, fueling her hatred towards the Legion. Rated M for violence.
1. First Blood

-Shh, take it easy. Don't shoot before you're entirely sure you got the shot. Boone said calmly. I took a deep breath. I had never used a sniper rifle on another human being before. I had killed before. We all had. You have to when you're living in the wasteland. But sniping was different. One missed shot and you had to retreat. It all depended on this just one shot.

The NCR soldiers at camp McCarran had hired me to take care of some fiends. We had tracked down one of them, Violet. The bounty for her head was huge and we could sure use the caps. Ammo and repairs were not cheap here, and don't even get me started on food.

Violet stood still by the fire she had set up. Her dogs running around the oil drum which contained the flames. I got my aim right between her eyes. I took a deep breath and held it as I slowly pulled the trigger. The recoil threw me back and the loud bang from the rifle attenuated my hearing. But after a second or two all that was left was silence.

-Not bad for your first kill, said Boone as he looked out from the window in the small shack we were hiding in. My mouth started to turn up, forming a smile. I cared what Boone thought of me more than I would have liked to admit.

-Thanks, I said as put my rifle on my back. Now lets hurry before the other fiends start to come around.

Violets dogs were nowhere to be seen. They must have been spooked by the gunshot. I took a look at her dead body as I pulled up my switchblade. The bullet hit her right in the forehead. A black hole the size of a nickle adorned her skull and blackish red blood were forming pools in her eye sockets.

-What a pretty sight, I mumbled as I turned her over so she laid on her stomach. I raised my blade over her neck and jammed it right between her vertebrae causing a high pitched crunching sound.

I proceeded to cut through her neck and throat until her head was free. Blood and gore didn't do much for me anymore. The people who had lived all their lives inside a vault usually couldn't handle even a small bruise, let alone the flesh wounds you get up and close with when you're living out here. Cutting someones head of didn't faze me much.

-Lets get back to camp McCarran before we get company. Boone said keeping an eye out.

-Yeah, sure. Lets go then, I said as I wrapped the head in a piece of cloth and put it in my backpack.

It was quiet as we walked back. Almost too quiet I thought. Suddenly I saw a man in a checkered suit walking through the ruins about 150m in front of me.

"_You've made your last delivery kid."_

The memories from the man in the checkered suit started popping up in my mind. I raised my hand up to my head and slowly let my fingers touch the scar on my temple.

"_From where you're kneeling it must seem like an 18-carat run of bad luck.  
But, truth is...the game was rigged from the start."_

That's the last I remembered before it all turned black. The man in the checkered suit with the gun in his hand. Those were the last words he spoke to me before he intended to execute me.

-Boone, you go ahead. I got something personal to sort out alone first, I said as I firmly gripped my magnum revolver and went in the direction of the man in the checkered suit.


	2. Burn Notice

As I reached the ruins I searched for the man who put a bullet in my head. I didn't know what I would do or say to him when and if I found him. I felt drawn to him, on some level. I was fascinated by him somehow. Intrigued. The man who killed me. How could you not be curious?

All these thoughts racing through my head left me preoccupied and before I knew it something hit me in the head and everything turned black.

When I slowly regained consciousness I could see a fiend stand over me. He had a deranged look on his face and a tank of gasoline in his hands. He smiled at me when I realized I was tied up. I couldn't move. He started snickering and that's when I noticed I was covered in some kind of liquid. -Do you know who I am? He asked with a raspy voice as he threw the tank away. The smell of gasoline covering me burned in my nostrils.

-Cook Cook? I asked. The NCR soldiers had mentioned him. There was a bounty on his head as well. He was a known pyromaniac and had raped several of the female NCR soldiers. One of which he raped and burned to death.

-You know what I'm gonna do to you, hun? He asked with joy in his voice. He picked up a lighter from his pocket and I could see his erection through his pants. I pressed my eyes shut as he started laughing uncontrollably. I tried to free myself but it was to no avail as I could feel the panic creeping over me. The restrains at my wrists and ankles were too tight. They dug in to my skin as I struggled causing my wrists to bleed.

Suddenly I felt a sharp burning pain at my calf that was working its way up. The pain was excruciating and I started to scream from the top of my lungs. Cook Cook threw himself over me. I tried to shake him of, but the pain from the fire burning my flesh was paralyzing.

Before he could even undo my pants I heard a loud gunshot and suddenly he laid completely still on top of me. Warm thick blood poured all over my body as the fire still burnt, making a fizzling sound as it scorched my skin.

Suddenly Boone was beside me and put the fire out. He thew Cook Cook's corpse to the side and undid my restraints.

-Boone, I breathed. You... you saved my life.. Boone lifted me up in his arms and as soon as I felt his embrace all that panic just disappeared. I wanted to cry but the exhaustion were to great. I didn't even know if I remembered how to cry.

-We need to get you to a medic, he said with anger in his voice. I was still in chock and just let my head rest against his chest as he carried me back to camp MacCarran.

-What would have happened if you weren't there Boone.. I said quietly to myself.

-Don't worry, he murmured. I won't let the same thing happen to you that happened to my wife, he answered with a cold voice. His voice was always filled with contempt when he talked about her. Contempt for the Legion.

Carla Boone was her name. She had been sold to the Legion as a slave and Boone was convinced she was dead. He had never told me why he could know that, his answer was always that he just knew. Before he joined me in my journey his only life goal were to kill legionaries.

I don't remember how I got back to the camp, I must have passed out from the chock. I woke up some time later. I was alone in a tent in a hospital bed. My pants hung on a chair next to me. The entire right leg had been burnt up. I slowly lifted the covers to examine my leg and all I could see was bloody bandages. I poked it slightly and sharp pain jolted through my leg.

-You shouldn't poke that, Boone said firmly.

-Yeah, I know, I said and put the covers back over my leg. I really owe you big, Boone.

-Don't mention it, he answered. Why would you even go there by yourself?

-I saw someone.. I replied. I haven't really talked about what had happened to me with Boone.

-I thought it was the guy who shot me.. I said hesitatingly.

-You were shot? Boone asked. He almost looked surprised.

-I can't really remember much before it. I was a courier and I had this package I was supposed to deliver. I got held up by a couple of men, and this guy who wore a checkered suit shot me in the head. He must have thought I died but apparantly this robot called Victor saved me and took me to a medic in Goodsprings and i survived. I've been trying to track down the man in the suit ever since. Sorry for not telling you about this sooner.. Boone stood silently and just kinda looked at me with this puzzled look.

-I think i know who he is


	3. One for my baby

-What? I breathed. You do.. How?

-He came through Novac a couple of weeks ago, before I had even met you. I think he was headed to the strip. Said he had some business to attend to. Seemed very stressed.. I think his name was Benny.

-Benny... I murmured. I guess we're heading to New Vegas next then, I said with mixed feelings. I didn't think I would actually find him. Was it really him that Boone had met?

-What was he like? I asked.

-We didn't really get a chance to chat, he said and sat on the side of my bed. You need to rest up and heal that leg before we leave though.

-Yeah, I'll take my time. I wouldn't even know what to do if I ever found that Benny-guy.

-All this shit is just so confusing, you know? Boone nodded at me. He never really said much.

-You don't like to talk much, do you? I asked him.

-I never really know what to say, he replied. That's what I loved a bout Carla. She talked much. It suited me fine.

-How do you know you she is dead? He turned his head away from me and clenched his jaw.

-I just know, okey?

-Please tell me Boone.

-Fine, I tracked down the legionaries. I saw them. They were auctioning her and other slaves out to other legionaries. I just had myself and my rifle. There was a good distance between us. There was no way I could have taken all of them, and there was no way I was going to let my wife spend the rest of her life as a slave for the legionaries so I scoped in and gave her a clean shot to the head. The way the legion treats their slaves... All the rape and abuse.. She was better of dead. Boone stood up and faced me. So now you know, he said. I was silent for a while.

-I think you did the right thing, I responded quietly.

-Yeah.. Maybe so.. There was silence for a while. Boone didn't meet my gaze.

-Some day you and I will take the Legion down. When we're strong enough to face Caesar.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, I give you my word, Boone. He almost smiled back at me. It was refreshing to see.

-So I see you have woken up... What was your name again? Said the doctor as he walked in to the tent.

-Just call me Courier.

-Well then.. Courier, you were lucky. The burns aren't too severe. You will need a couple of days to heal up, but it looks like you will be fine. The pants you wore took most of the hit by the fire. You might want to keep a heads up for infections though. Our resources are very limited so try to keep exposure to a minimum.

-Thanks Doc, I answered as I took a look at my burnt up pants. The doctor quickly exited the tent, I guessed he had a lot of other patients to attend to.

-I went back and collected Cook Cooks head, Boone said. We got a lot if caps for it, and with Violets head I managed to get you some drugs to help you heal.

-Wow, thanks Boone. How long have I been out?

-Just a day or two. The Doc kept you sedated for a while. The NCR really seems to think you're an asset to them. That's good. Just try to stay out of trouble in the future, Courier. Okey? I smiled a little.

-Yeah, I'll try. Boone sat down on my bed again.

-Hey Boone? I asked. He looked up at me. Would you mind teaching me how to snipe before we're heading to New Vegas?

-Yeah, sure. He answered. You'll probably be out for the next couple of days though, but I can set you up with a rifle and some ammo during that time.

-Thanks, I said.

As soon as Boone left the tent I picked up the syringe he had given me. I injected it into my arm and immediately felt how I started getting droopy. It didn't take long before I passed out again.

The following days were in a haze. I was drugged up most of the time and slept through most of the hours. I could feel the pain in me leg becoming less intense for every day.

-So how about it Courier? Should we remove those bandages and get you up and walking, eh? The doctor spoke with a happy tone in his voice. I guess he was happy about me being able to help out the NCR again.

The doctor slowly undid the bandages and swabbed the wound. There were big yellow crusts of dried puss covering the scar.

-There we are, he said when he had gotten it all cleaned up. There were significant scarring, but nothing that really bothered me. You're lucky if you get away with just a scar out here in the wastes.

-Look who's up and walking, Boone said as he entered the tent.

-Yeah, looks like I'm all healed up, I said with a smile. I could almost see a smile across Boones face as well. I'm gonna need some new armor though..

-Already got it taken care of, Boone said and threw me a pair of pants. These were the best I could get a hold of.

-Wow thanks! I said as I put them on. They were made out of leather armor, perfect for when you need to sneak.

-Don't worry about it, Boone said. I'm just glad you're finally better. It haven't been the same without you these last couple of days. I could feel my heart racing inside my chest.

-I also got you this! Boone said and handed me a long black sniper rifle. It's not as good as mine, but it will suffice. I weighed the rifle in my hands. It was heavy. I put it up so I could look through the scope. The aim felt perfect. It felt like I was born to hold this weapon in my hands.

-Why don't we head up to the snipe post and let you practice? I nodded.

It was at the end of the camp, but the big wall around it. There was a ladder that led up to a post from where you got a great view over the wasteland. You could almost see the horizon from where we were.

-See those cans? Boone said and pointed at them. I put the scope up to my eye and searched for them until they showed up on my crosshair.

-Try holding the rifle more like this.. He said and adjusted my arms positioning. I felt my heart beat in my chest as he touched my skin. He stood closely behind me and kept his grip around my arms.

-And slowly... fire!

I was expecting a loud bang as I pulled the trigger, but instead I was met with a high pitched metallic sound.

-What was that? I asked as I lowered the rifle.

-I put a silencer on the gun. That might make us more effective later. Now try to take out as many cans as possible and still staying scoped in.

Me and Boone practiced until the sun went down. I think I enjoyed having him that close to me a bit too much. Ever since the incident with Cook Cook these feelings had started to get stronger. I knew his heart would always belong to his wife but I felt so safe when he was around. I knew he would never feel the same way. I didn't think he could ever love anyone again. It was like Carla took his heart with her when she died and Boone got left with a big hole in his chest that got filled with anger and hate.

-I think I'm heading to bed, Boone said and started to go down the ladder.

-I'll be there in a bit, I replied and gazed out at the sunset. It was funny how big a contrast there was between the earth and the sky. The sky was a beautiful mix of red and orange, only to be met by ruins and radioactive wasteland. I wondered what the world used to look like before the war. Before deranged raiders and fiends roamed the land, and before all the creatures got deformed by radioactivity. I thought about all the evil that existed. The Legion. How they slaughtered, raped and crucified innocent people. What would happen if they got power over all of the wasteland?

All these thoughts brought me back to Cook Cook. I had tried to suppress the memories of him. The smell of his breath against my face, the burning pain as my leg was on fire and what would have happened if Boone hadn't saved me. I wouldn't have been alive to see this sunset, that was for sure. But I wondered how long he would have tortured me before he would finally had finished me of.

I never felt afraid when the man in the checkered suit, Benny, shot me. Although the memories are very blurry. I remembered that I was supposed to deliver a package. I didn't know what was in it though, must have been something valuable. Suddenly I got knocked down and everything went black. I woke up with three men standing in front of me. I was in restraints.

"Guess who's waking up here" one of the men said. It wasn't Benny. They talked for a while more but I couldn't remember what they said. Benny flashed something. It looked like a poker chip of some sort. _"Sorry you got twisted up in this scene." _He said before he drew his gun and pointed it at me. _"From where you're kneeling it must seem like an 18-carat run of bad luck. But, truth is...the game was rigged from the start " _Benny said before he pulled the trigger. I remembered that part so clearly. I could hear the loud bang from his gun before my vision turned black. It was a miracle I survived that day. I had almost died twice now.

.

After a while the sky turned from bright orange to a deep blue. The stars started to form behind the clouds. My heart was pounding in my chest. All these thoughts had left me uneasy. With shaking legs I went down the ladder. Everyone had gone to sleep, except the guards who was on the night shift. Instead of going to my own bed I headed to the tent where Boone slept.

-Boone, I whispered, hoping he was still awake.

-What? He wheezed back.

-Do you mind if I sleep here, with you? I asked. It was quiet for a while.

-Um, yeah, sure, Boone sad hesitantly. Just sleep, right?

-Right, I said as I crawled underneath the blanket. I could feel Boones warm body behind me.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax. It was a lot easier with Boone here but my leg still throbbed by the pain and images of Benny and Cook Cook played on repeat in my mind. My body shook ever so slightly and I felt a cold sweat coming on. It must have been the withdrawal from all the meds I had been taking. I started focusing on Boones breathing behind me and after a while I finally went to sleep.

I woke up the next day by the sun shining. Boones arm was around me and I could feel his sweet breath against my neck. I could tell he was still asleep by his deep breathing. Instead of getting up I snuggled deeper into Boones embrace. I knew I shouldn't feed my feelings anymore and that Boone would wake up any minute but I just couldn't help myself. And just as I predicted Boone woke up just minutes after. I pretended to still be asleep. Boone sighed before he started to crawl out of bed. I laid still and watched him as he put on his beret and his sunglasses. He stretched himself before he flung the rifle over his back. I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes before I also got up from the bed. I stretched myself before strapping my holster around my hips. I checked to make sure all of my guns were loaded before putting them in the holster. I grabbed my rifle and put it over my back as I called on Boone.

-What do you think about starting to head for New Vegas? It will take us a while to get there with all the fiends and raiders around.

-Is your leg healed up?

-As good as it will get, I guess. There's still some burning but nothing I cant handle.

-If you say so, Courier. I'll gather up some essentials and then we can head out.

My leg hurt more than I thought it would when we where traveling. We had been forced to move in a slow pace just because of it and always keeping an eye out for enemies. The sun had started to set so we decided to set camp. We found an abandoned caravan where we decided to spend the night. Boone was working on setting up a small fire and I was searching through my bag, looking for something to ease my pain.

-I think there's a bottle of scotch down in the bottom, Boone said. I dig into the bottom of the bag until I felt a bottle in my hand.

-Thanks, I said as I took a sip. Boone had gotten the fire started and was now lighting a cigarette.

-Can I get some?

-Sure, I said as I handed him the bottle. He took a big sip without making a face.

-Scotch has always been my favorite, he said.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, and it only get better as it ages. It was both mine and Carlas favorite drink.

-Must be hard without her.

-You learn how to get by. As long as I have my vengeance I will at least have a purpose.

I sat quietly and took another sip.

-Do you ever think what would have been if the war never broke out? I asked. It was a thought that kept reoccurring.

-I rarely think about what would have been. It doesn't do me any good.

-I don't know. It makes me feel a little bit better that it wasn't always like this. That maybe people were happy before all of this. It gives me hope that humanity might have that again.

Boone stayed quiet. I knew he wasn't much of a talker. Instead we just passed the bottle between us until all of our pains just seemed to slowly disappear.

-You know what Boone? I said.

-What?

-Sometimes I feel that I just want to run away, but then I realize that it doesn't matter where I run.. The wasteland is fucking endless.. Boone chuckled.

-Yeah. It's a bitch, ain't it?

-It's nice to see you smile, Boone. He didn't reply.

-Maybe its time to put the fire out, he said instead. We don't want to draw to much attention to us.

-Yeah, I agreed as Boone stomped out the fire. My head started spinning as I stood up but I managed to get myself inside the caravan. It smelled kind of musky in there, and there was a mattress on the floor. It was dark so I couldn't really see where I was going and before I knew it I tripped over something and landed right on my injured leg. I shrieked in pain and suddenly Boone was right next to me.

-You okey? He asked

-I don't know. I fell on my leg. It hurts like shit.

-Let me take a look, he said as he turned on a flashlight. We're gonna need to get these off of you, he said as he started to peel of my pants. It hurt like hell as the fabric rubbed against my wound.

-Looks like you just scraped it. I'm gonna get some alcohol on it and you'll be fine. Boone grabbed the bottle of scotch and poured some of it over the wounds. I clenched my teeth and hissed as the alcohol burned against my skin.

-There you go, he said and tied a piece of cloth around my leg.

-Fuck Boone.. I really don't know what I would do without you, I said.

-Don't worry about it. You know I'll always have your back. I smiled. Boone crawled up to the mattress and laid down. I tried to inspect my wound as well as I could with there being no lights. I wanted to poke it but I managed to refrain. I could hear how Boones breathing started to get deeper. He must had fallen asleep. I grabbed my magnum from my holster on the floor and put it next to the mattress as I crawled up next to Boone.


	4. Blurred Vision

The next day was a bright one. Boone wasn't there when I woke up in the caravan. I looked out through the window and saw him sitting smoking a cigarette, looking out over the wasteland. I reached for my pants and slowly dragged them on over my legs. It hurt like a bitch as I pulled the fabric over my wound. I grabbed my revolver by the mattress and put it in my holster before I headed out.

-Nice day, huh? I said to Boone. He snorted.

-Yeah, the weather at least.

-Well, you have a point there Boone, I said and sat next to him. Can I get a puff, by the way? He handed me his cigarette. Suddenly he raised his rifle and pulled the trigger.

-Got him, Boone said and got up. He ran down the hill and I quickly got up and followed him.

-Got what? I shouted after him as I hurried down the hill.

-I got a headshot on one of those big geckos, looks like we're gonna eat today, he shouted back at me.

When I finally reached the cadaver Boone knelt in front of it. He was skinning it with his army knife. He cut of piece after piece of fur until the whole creature looked like a giant naked rat.

-Here take this, he said as he handed me two big pieces of raw meat.

We went uphill to the caravan again. Boone started a fire as soon as we got there and stuck two sticks through the pieces of flesh. He handed me one of them.

-Gecko meat is one of my favorites, I said. It tasted slightly irradiated but not as much as radroaches or bloatflies.

-God, I haven't felt full for a long long time, Boone said as he patted his stomach.

-Yeah, me neither, I said as I tiredly lied down on the ground next to Boone. It feels weird, I added. Boone also laid down on the ground as he sighed. I turned to my side and watched Boones face. He wore his sunglasses, as always. He had a square jaw and defined cheekbones. His face was harsh, just like everything else about him.

-You wanna start moving? He said and turned his face to mine. His face were only a couple of centimeters away from mine. I could almost feel his breath.

-Uh.. yeah, I said taken by surprise. I was not used to having his face so close to mine.

-Lets go then, he said as he got up. He reached his hand at me. I took it and he helped me up from the ground. My joints cracked as I stood up. We packed up our stuff and the rest of the meat before we started to head down the hill once again.

My feet felt swollen inside of my warm, black, army boots and I started to feel dizzy. We had wandered under the hot sun for hours now, without any trace of a shadow nearby.

-I don't feel to good, Boone, I said as my vision started to blur.

-I don't think its too long now. He said as he took his shirt off. We had stopped walking and I couldn't help but to stare at his chest. It was shiny from the sweat from the heat. He had a couple of scars covering his torso and one scar that crossed half of his stomach.

-Put this over your head, he said and threw the shirt at me. I snapped out of my head as his t-shirt softly hit my face. The shirt was damp and smelled like him, I quite liked it.

-Thanks, I said, but the sound of my voice sounded strange in my head. I tied the dark green shirt over my head as we started to walk again.

The sound around me started to sound strange as well. I could barely hear the wind around me but the sound of my breaths echoed loudly in my ears. I could hear my heart beat furiously in my chest and heaps of sweat dripped from my forehead. I could feel Boones hand on my shoulder. As I turned to him I could hear him talking to me but I couldn't understand what he was saying. He pointed in the other direction, so I moved my head, trying to see what he pointed at. I could distinguish a dark silhouette coming at us with my blurry vision. I saw Boone raise his rifle so I grabbed mine as well.

With shaky arms I lifted the scope up to my eye, it was almost as everything happened in slow motion. My arms shook so badly that I could barely see anything. My blurry vision didn't help either, but I could make out a rough shape in the scope. My breaths were loud in my ears. I pulled the trigger thinking I had him but the bullet missed him by a large margin. The recoil almost made me lose balance and my feet hurt as I tried to keep myself from falling over. I could hear someone screaming around me and gunshots. Two men were at me and Boone by now. I could see Boone running and shooting at the one of the men. When I turned around I could see the second man heading straight at me with a raised baton. I couldn't remember how to use my weapons so instead I clenched my fist and mustered up all of my strength as I drilled my fist into his jaw. He fell to the ground instantly with blood pouring out of his mouth. As he tried to get up I grabbed his hair and shoved his face against my knee. I could feel a crunching sensation as his nose broke into pieces. His body fell softly to the ground after I let go of his hair. I could see him breathing but a big puddle of dark blood started to form under his face. I pointed my rifle, that was still in my hand, at his head and pulled the trigger. Big pieces of skull flew from his head along with big pieces of bloody flesh and brains. I blinked hard and rubbed my eyes after I put the rifle back on my back. I could barely understand what just happened and where was Boone? I turned around and could see a character before me. As he got closer I could see that it was Boone. I exhaled in relief.

-You fine? I thought I could hear Boone ask. I reached for him and leaned against him as it felt that I was about to fall over.

-I don't feel too g.. was all I could say before I could feel how the insides of my stomach seemed to move. I gagged a few times before I knelt on the ground emptied the entire content of my stomach before me. I coughed a few times and made sure I got everything out before I cleaned of the vomit around my mouth with the back of my hand. Boone grabbed my arm, helping me up and put my arm around his shoulders.

-I think we'll be in New Vegas pretty soon, Courier. Don't you worry, he said.

My head spun as we walked. The light burned in my eyes and there was a loud ringing in my ears that wouldn't go away. I could feel Boone sweating as I had my arm around him. His breathing was not consistent and he sounded exhausted. I looked down at him and could see him holding something against him stomach.

-What's that, I asked, trying to make out what it was.

-I got hit, he said and moved the piece of cloth to the side, revealing a deep wound with blood pouring down his stomach.

-Oh shit, I said as I felt my heart stop in my chest.

-Don't worry, we're soon in Vegas. It'll be fine. I didn't know if he was trying to convince me or himself.


	5. The man in the checkered suit

It didn't take long before we could see the strip in front of us. The sun had set and the area seemed to be deserted. Boone started to feel heavy as I was the one now supporting him. I tried to make out the word written on the signs around us. I went in what I hoped was a hotel of some sort. I made it to the front desk and laid my caps on the table

-One room, please, I said as my head continued to spin. I couldn't see what the hostess looked like but she sounded worried on her voice.

-Sure thing, the first room to left after the stairs, she said and handed me a key.

I almost had to drag Boone up the stairs.

-Boone! I shouted at him and he mumbled something back at me. I could see him trying to keep his eyes open.

I laid him on the bed as soon as we got into the room. I emptied the content of my bag out on the floor. I grabbed a bottle of purified water and the almost empty bottle of scotch.

-Were you shot or stabbed, Boone? I said as I poured some of the water over the wound.

-Stabbed, Boone moaned in pain. I felt somewhat relieved. I wouldn't have to search for a bullet then. I grabbed to scotch and poured some over the wound, disinfecting it. Boone flinched as I tried to clean the wound. I poured some of it over the small rag and handed it to Boone.

-Press this against the wound, I will be right back! I said as I headed back at the reception. I almost stumbled down the stairs but I managed to make it back to the front desk.

-Do you have a needle and thread please, I almost shouted at the girl behind the desk. She almost looked frightened, but she handed my a needle and some sewing thread. I quickly made it back to the room where Boone still bled profoundly.

-Okey, this might hurt a bit, I said as I knelt next to the bed. I threaded the needle and slowly moved it to his skin. I tried to close the wound with my fingers as I sewed it shut. Boone grunted and flinched as I pushed the needle through is skin.

-Almost done, I said as I put the last couple of stitches in him. I poured some more alcohol over the wound before I taped the cloth over it. I then went back to my bag and found the small bottle of medication I got when I burned my leg and an empty syringe. I filled the syringe and injected the liquid in Boones veins.

-You'll be fine, I said afterwords and stroked his cheek.

-Thanks, he said slipping out of consciousness. I put the small bottle and the syringe on the bed table next to him along with a bottle of purified water. I sat down on the floor and leaned my back against the bed. I covered my face in my palms, accidentally smearing the blood from my hands on to my face. My head was still spinning like crazy and I could hear my heart beating in my ears. I took a sip of the water that I had put on the table. I looked through my bag until I found two packages of rad away. I put the needle from the rad away in Boones arm and then in my own arm. I hadn't kept track of my radiation levels this past time, which probably was what made me sick.

I took a sip of water as the rad away slowly got pumped through my veins. The bag was almost empty now and I already felt much better. I felt extremely tired after all of this but then I realized that we actually made it to New Vegas. I sighed loudly as I closed my eyes. I sat like that until the entire bag och rad away was empty. I pulled out the needle and then got up and pulled out the needle from Boones arm as well. He looked so peaceful as he slept. I checked his pulse before I walked to the other side of the bed and crawled in next to Boone. I closed my eyes and listened to him breath until I also fell asleep.

I slept almost the entire day. Boone was asleep when I woke up, but I saw that the bottle of water was open so he must have woken up briefly. I looked at the bottle of medicine. It hadn't been used so I filled up the syringe and made sure Boone got a small dose so that he would heal quicker. Afterwords I lifted the bandages and checked on his wound. It still looked rather nasty but it had healed somewhat over the night. I went in to the bathroom and looked at myself in the dirty mirror. I had bloodstains all over my clothes, hands and face and my hair was all tangled up and dirty. I turned on the faucet to the bathtub and let it slowly fill up with dirty irradiated water as I took of all of my armor and clothes. When the tub was filled up I slowly climbed in. I inspected my burn scar as I laid in the lukewarm water. It didn't hurt as much to touch anymore and it looked like a scar instead of a wound now. There was a small block of soap on the edge of the tub, which I grabbed and lathered up my hands. It felt good to clean of all the dirt of my body and wash out my hair.

I got up when I started to get raisin fingers. I grabbed a ragged towel and wrapped it around my body. When I had dried up I put on a tank top and a pair of pants, along with my boots. I didn't bother with my armor and settled with just my holster and my magnum. Boone was asleep as I left our room and headed down the lobby. The girl from yesterday was behind the desk again. I sat down on one of the stools in front of the desk.

-Hi can I get you anything, she said with a happy voice. Now I could see that she was just a teenager, no wonder she seemed spooked yesterday.

-Got anything to drink and eat? I asked and laid some caps on the table. She went under the desk and grabbed something and came back up with a bottle of dirty water and some gecko meat. She grabbed the caps I had put on the table and put them in her cash register.

-So, you seem a little too young to be working, eh? She smiled shyly at me.

-It's my moms place actually, I just work here when she's not around.

-Ah I see, is she around often then?

-Yeah, you just missed her. She's usually out and collecting things to sell and trying to sell things she has found. It's pretty rough though. We don't leave the strip much.

-Yeah, I can see why. It's dangerous out there.

-Are you and the man you came in with okey? She asked and a look of concern could be seen across her face.

-Yeah, I'm fine, and I hope Boone will be fine. Thanks for the help yesterday by the way.

-Is Boone his name?

-Yeah.

-He's cute, she said and blushed. She giggled a little as she checked some bills and put them in the cash register.

-Yeah, I kinda think so too, I said and smiled at her. I started chewing on the gecko meat she had served me. It was pretty chewy but gecko meat always was. It was fried with perfection though, I could never have fried it that well myself.

-What's your name? I asked as I took a big bite of the meat.

-Amanda, she said and started to play with her hair. What's yours?

-I don't know actually. People just call me Courier.

-How can you not know, she said and leaned in over the desk she stood behind. She sounded intrigued.

-I was about to deliver this package, but some guys hurt me pretty badly instead. I can't seem to remember anything before that. I said and finished the last piece of gecko meat on my plate.

-Wow, she said with a stunned look on her face. What if you meet someone you used to know and don't recognize them. I pursed my lips. I had never thought about it. There had to be someone out there who knew me. What if I had a family out there who never knew what happened to me. Or what if I had no friends or family at all. That was a much more depressing though.

-You know, I haven't really though about it, I told Amanda and took a sip of the dirty water. The radiation tingled on my tongue.

-Maybe there's someone here on the strip even, she said as she smiled. She sounded very optimistic about that thought.

-Yeah, you never know, I said as I stood up. I'm gonna get back to my room. It was nice talking to you Amanda.

-Yeah, you too Courier, she answered with a smile.

I headed up the stairs and went into our room. Boone was awake when I got in. He sat on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands.

-How you feeling? I asked and sat down besides him.

-The wound hurts, but I wouldn't be this well of if it weren't for you, Courier. I owe you a lot.

-Don't mention it Boone. I'm just glad you're fine. I said and patted his shoulder. I still have some medicine left from when I was injured that you should use. We'll have to see how the wound heals as well. I have never stitched someone up before. Or at least I don't think I have.. I said and frowned my brows. Boone got up and looked out the window. The sun had already started to set.

-How long was I out, he asked and turned his eyes back at me.

-Just the night and today. I gave you a refill of the medicine when I woke up before, I think it was a couple of hours ago. I also gave you a dose of rad away. We both needed it.

-Yeah, I can feel that. You feel so fresh when you get all that radiation out of you, he said and gave out a small sigh. I don't think I can thank you enough for looking out for me, he added.

-Don't worry about it Boone. You know I would be hopeless without you, I said with a smile. He chuckled a little.

-Yeah, maybe you would, he said and smiled at me. It wasn't often you saw him smile.

-I'm gonna go clean up, he said and headed in to the bathroom. I laid down on the bed and looked in to the ceiling. What if there was someone here in New Vegas who knew me. I played with that idea for a while. What if someone came up to me sometime and could tell me who I was. The thought was intriguing. I felt so lost when almost all of my life was just a black void. Who was I before all of this? What if Benny knew who I was. What if I knew him before all of this. I quickly dismissed that though. Why would he shoot me if we were friends? Maybe we used to be enemies...

-What are you think about, Boone said as he exited the bathroom. His short hair was wet and he dried of his torso with a towel as he walked towards the bed. The bandages over his wound were removed and you could see the black thread running through his skin. He laid down next to me on the bed. I quickly sat up and reached for my bag.

-You know you should keep that bandaged, I said as I grabbed another piece of cloth and drenched it with alcohol. Boone flinched ever so slightly when I dabbed his wound with the cloth. It was obvious that he tried to seem though. I grabbed some tape and taped a clean piece of fabric over the stitches.

-You don't need to take care of me, you know, Boone said and looked at me.

-Oh come on Boone, I don't mind. Just let me do it, I said and smiled at him. Boone gave me a small smile back and touched my hand as I taped the cloth.

-What's your name? He asked me when I had lied down again. Everyone just calls you Courier, he added and turned his gaze to me.

-I really don't know, actually, I answered. I can't remember anything before the accident.

-That must be tough.

-Yeah, it feels a little weird. Everyone keeps talking about their families and where they grew up, and I'm just left with nothing. I have no idea if I even have a family.

-Maybe you're better of not knowing, Boone said and pursed his lips. I would give a lot to get rid of some memories.

-I don't know Boone. You don't know how it feels to just have a black void where your memories are supposed to be.

-Yeah, maybe you're right, Boone answered and turned over to his side. I knew he was thinking about Carla. I wondered if I used to have someone like Boone used to have. I guess I would never know.

Boone sat up after a while and grabbed the syringe from the bedside table.

-This wound is fucking killing me, he sighed. Mind if pass out for a while?

-Nah, you need to rest as much as possible, I said and got up from the bed. I think I'm gonna go downstairs for a while. I walked around to the other side of the bed.

-You get some rest, I said to Boone and kissed his forehead. He met my gaze for a moment and I brushed his cheek.

-Yeah, he said and watched me as I walked out the door.

Amanda wasn't there as I reached the lobby. Instead there was an older woman behind the desk. She had long blonde hair and was fairly tall.

-Are you Amandas mother? I asked as I sat down in front of the desk.

-Yeah, have you settled in to your room? Amanda said you were staying at room 1A.

-Yeah, it's a very nice room, I said and smiled at her. She smiled back at me as she sorted some papers behind the desk.

-By the way, I continued. Have you seen a man wearing a checkered suit around here, by any chance?

-Oh you talking about that guy who always hangs around at the tops casino? He usually wear this checkered jacket.

-Yeah, that's him! Do you know where I can fin him now? I asked enthusiastically.

-Well, like I said, he usually hangs around in the tops casino. You can go and check there. They're open all night. I took a deep breath.

-Yeah, I'll do that I think, I said as I got up. I went straight back to my room. Boone had already passed out from the medication. I grabbed my armored jacket and strapped my magnum to my leg inside my pants. I knew you couldn't get in to the casinos here if you were carrying weapons. The only way to get them in were to conceal them. I went in to the bathroom and checked myself out in the mirror. I scowled at the reflection. I looked ragged and the scar by my temple didn't really help. I don't know why I cared about looking good. I was somehow nervous about what Benny would think of me. I shrugged of the feeling and headed out of the small hotel we were staying at. The air outside was cool. The sky was a deep blue but you couldn't see the stars because of the bright lights from the strip.

It wasn't far to the tops. I could feel my legs shake as I entered the building.

-Excuse ma'am, are you carrying any weapons? I shook my head and let the guard search me.

-Okey, thank you very much, ma'am, he said. He didn't find my revolver though.

I entered the main room of the casino. There were roulette and poker tables everywhere and slot machines by the walls. My heart beat vigorously and my legs shook. I slowly walked around the room, scouting the room.

-Well, if you don't have the money you shouldn't have made that bet, dig? I heard a voice behind me. It felt like my whole body froze up. It was his voice. I slowly turned around and saw him in front of me.


	6. Ring-a-ding-ding

-What in the goddamn, he said as he saw me in front of him. Now lets keep this in the groove, hey? Lets me smooth about this, okey? He sounded extremely nervous.

-I guess you didn't expect to see me here.

-You must have a thick scull. But it's good news baby. Maybe I can finally sleep now that I know you didn't die.

I was kinda taken by surprise that he seemed to care.

-Is that so? I asked sarcastic.  
-Look, I bet you didn't track me all the way down here just to kill me, so what do you say about meeting somewhere more private, I'll answer any questions you've got. Sounds good?

-Uhm, yeah, sure. I answered with a confused tone. I was not expecting this from him. I never thought he would care this much and that it would be this easy.

-Why don't you meet me at the presidential suite? I'll be up soon, make it look like a we're doing business. Here's the key. He said and handed me a small key. I took it and headed in to the elevator to the suite.

I got a bad feeling as I entered the big room. There was a bar, some couches and a pool table in the middle of the room. There was an intercom by the elevator. I walked across the room and sat down on one of the stools by the bar. I wondered how long he would take. I started to feel uneasy. Something didn't feel right about this. I pulled out my magnum and clenched it in my hand, just in case. I stood up and went back to the other side of the room, to the intercom. It crackled for a bit before I could hear hos voice coming from it.

-Babe, this little meet and greet we got going on, chalk me up as a no show. It would be 41 flavors of stupid to let you get a drop on me, and you've already caused me enough trouble as is. Hell I'm gonna have to skip town because of you and that's a real pain in the caboose.

-What in the hell? Well where does this put the two of us?

-Nowheresville, that's where. Sorry 'bout the double cross, but if someone's gonna die, it's gonna be you.

-You cheating bastard! I shouted at the intercom. I knew I shouldn't have trusted that bitch.

-Can't you get it through your thick skull to leave me and the chip alone? If not even bullets can get through, what hope is there?

-You're a dead man, Benny.

-Yeah, I doubt that you will survive this one, and if by a miracle you do, you get near me ever again and you wont be getting back up, you dig? The intercom went silent after that. I knew Benny would be gone buy the time I got there. The door to the suite opened and four of his bodyguards entered, all carrying guns.

I leaped and rolled behind one of the pool tables, dodging their bullets. When I heard them reload I quickly stood up and shot at them. I hit one in their arm and another one right in the head. The bullet went all the way through, causing his brains to splatter on the wall behind him. I dodged behind the table again and when I could hear them get closer I darted across the room, releasing a couple of bullets their way, before ducking behind another pool table. One of the bodyguards fell to the ground as one of my bullets hit him in the leg. The guards started to get afraid, which I used to my benefit. In the confusion I rolled under the table and shooting the other two, emptying my round. I sneaked and hid behind the bar. I took a few deep breaths as I reloaded my magnum. I could only hear one of them moving around. I took one last deep breath and got up. The bodyguard stood with his back at me so I shot him right through the neck. He collapsed instantly. I walked out from behind the bar counter with my gun raised before me. Suddenly I felt a painful smack against my back and I fell to the ground. On of the bodyguards struck me from behind with a pool cue. He struck me again against my ribs as I laid on the floor. I kicked his legs under him and he fell heavily towards the ground, dropping his pool cue. I quickly drew my gun and released a bullet straight through his head. The blood splattered across my face.

I got up and looked around me. I didn't bother to check if the last one of them was dead, I just left the suite as quickly as I could. I put my gun in the inside pocket of my jacket and used my sleeve to wipe away the blood from my face, but instead I just smudged it. I ran outside of the casino and quickly looked around for Benny. He was nowhere to be found.

-Fuck! I shouted. How could I have fallen for his trick. I clenched my jaw and closed my fists. My fingernails dug into the palms of my hands.

I was infuriated as I walked back to the hotel. The bruises on my ribs and back hurt like a bitch, but I was glad that I didn't get any bullet wounds. The sky started to get a bright orange. The sun was about to rise. I went straight back to our room when I got back to the hotel. Boone sat on the edge of the bed.

-Where you been? He said as I walked over to the bed and let out a big sigh as I fell down on the bed.

-I found Benny, I said and sighed once again.

-Yeah? You don't seem too happy 'bout it, Boone said and turned to me.

-Fuck Boone, how could I've been such a moron! I said, with emphasis on the word "moron".I turned on my stomach and buried my face in the pillow. I could feel Boones hand on my back.

-What happened?

-Ugh, I don't even know where to start. I saw him at the tops casino and I talked to him. He said he would meet me at the presidential suite and answer all my questions. Foolish as I was, I believed him. He didn't show up and sent his assassins to kill me. I was lucky to get out there alive. I rubbed my palms against my face. .

-Are you hurt? He asked. I nodded at him.

-Yeah, not badly though. One of them got me with a pool cue, I said as I turned to my back. I lifted my shirt enough to show him the bruises on my ribs.

-That looks bad, Boone said and gently touched my ribs with his fingers. Does it hurt? He asked and looked at me. He weren't wearing his sunglasses so I could see his eyes.

-Yeah, but it's not too bad. You got yourself to worry about, I said and touched Boones hand. I'm just so angry with myself that I let him get away like that.

-Yeah I get what you mean, Boone said, now almost leaning over me. I could feel the warmth from his naked torso over me.

-How's your wound feeling? I said and looked down at the cloth taped on his stomach.

-It's fine. Looks like it's healing well, he said and touched the fabric slightly. He turned his eyes back at me.

-You know, I almost got worried when you weren't here when I woke up.

-Really?

-Yeah, I wish you would have told me you were meeting that Benny guy. I could have helped you, he said and almost looked concerned.

-It was just something I had to do, I responded. My heart beat furiously inside of my chest. Boone had never been like this before, or I had never seen him like this at least.

-I'm just glad you got back safe, he said has he stroked my cheek with the back of his hand.

-Yeah... I couldn't come up with anything else to say. Boones body next to mine made my mind go blank. I softly placed my hand on his chest. He was warm and I could ever so slightly feel his heart beating under my palm.

-I really appreciate you fixing up my bullet wound and all. There's not many people out here in the wastes who give a crap about you, ya know, Boone said and I could feel his breath against my face.

I placed my hand behind his neck, stroking his cheek with my thumb.

-I'll always care about you Boone, you know that. Boone just looked at me, almost smiling. I felt how my whole body got shaky, having him this close. Just as I was about to lean forward and kiss him he released himself from my arms.

-You should get some sleep, Boone said with a monotone voice. He suddenly sounded cold. The sun shined from the window.

-You've been up all night, he added.

-Do you mind staying here until I fall asleep? I asked and looked at him. He took a moment, reluctant to answer.

-Yeah, I guess, he said and laid on his back, looking up at the ceiling. I fluffed up my pillow and tried to get comfortable in the bed. I wanted to kiss him so bad and I wondered he felt anything for me, or was even capable of feeling anything for anyone since his wife. I stroked his arm with my fingertips as he laid besides me. He didn't seem to mind. I felt my body going heavy and I drifted in to worried sleep.

That night I had very vivid dreams. I was a little girl, my hair tangled up and dirty clothes. There was a boy, only slightly older than me. He had the same ashy blonde hair as me.

_-Whats happening Casp? _

I could hear that it was my voice. The were people around us, adults. I couldn't see their faces, they were too tall. The boy held my hand.

_-Run! _The boy shouted at me. He ran as he held my hand, almost dragging me with him. The crowd of people started to get further and further to the distant. My feet hurt, I wasn't wearing any shoes and I cried. I don't know why I cried, it felt like I had just lost something important.

_-Don't worry Carr, we got each other we're safe. _The boy hugged me and that's when I woke up. I was shaking as a laid in my bed, sweat covering my body.

I was alone in the hotel room. The sun shined as usual through the window, it looked like it was afternoon. I sat up in the bed and rubbed my palms against my face. I knew dreams were just dreams, but this one was just so vivid. Like it had happened for real. Who was Casp, and was I Carr? The name didn't sound familiar. I stood up and went in to my bathroom. I looked at my blonde hair. Was the boy in my dream related to me?

-Carr, I said out loud, tasting the name. I wished it was my name, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. This dream was probably just a dream and I was just trying to convince myself that it meant something. I wanted to have a past so badly. I wanted to know who I were.

-Are you up? I heard Boone say as he entered our room.

-In here! I shouted back at him.

-Are you decent? He said outside of the bathroom door.

-Yeah, you can come in, I said and leaned at the sink behind me. I had the strangest dream this night, I added as Boone had came in the bathroom.

-What was it about?

-Well, I was a little girl and there was this boy. He kinda looked like me. I called him Casp. He called me Carr. The dream was just so vivid I can't get it out of my head.

-Well, what if it's a memory? Boone said and put his hands on the sink, leaning against it. I sighed and sat down on the toilet lid.

-I don't know. I don't want to get my hopes up, I said and buried my face in my hands. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"_When will you be back Carissa?" _

I jumped out of my slouching positioning and opened my eyes wide.

-What's wrong, Boone asked, kneeling down in front of me.

-I don't know.. I think I just remembered something... I said carefully. I didn't know what the hell that was but it sure felt like a memory. Boone raised his eyebrows.

-I think my name is Carissa, I started. The boy from my dream, he asked me when I would be back. But he was grown up now, similar to my age. I pressed my fingertips to my temples.

-Carissa? Boone stated. You kinda look like a Carissa, he said as he stroked a few hairs out of my face. I smiled at him.

-You think so? I asked, looking at his eyes.

-Don't worry Courier, you'll get your memories back on day or another. I exhaled. Boone was right. They would come back to me some time, and this was just the start of it.

-By the way, this letter came for you today, he said and handed me an envelope. Don't know who it's from. The lady behind the counter just told me to give it to you. I opened the envelope and a folded piece of paper were inside along with a necklace. Boones eyes widened as he saw the necklace in my hands.

-What does the letter say? Boone sounded furious and his jaw was clenched.

"Dear Courier.

Please use this mark of Caesar and meet us at the fort. We have reasons to think you will be of use for the legion and you might find it of your interests that we have your friend Benny here at the fort.

/Vulpes Inculta"

The air got taken out of me. I handed Boone the letter who just looked at it in silence and then gave out a quick snort.

-Legion fucks, he said and stood up. They always think that everyone will bend over backwards for them, just because everyone is afraid of them, he said with an angry tone. I looked at the silver necklace. Caesars legion wouldn't attack you as long as you were carrying it, unless you of course attacked them first.

I hated the legion. I didn't really know why I hated them as much as I did though. I mean, the killed, tortured and enslaved people, but I never had a personal vendetta against them, but it felt like I did. Every time I saw or heard of them I could feel my temper drop. I rationalized it as me being angry with them about what happened to Boones wife but I felt this way even before I met Boone. I felt amused that Benny didn't get far though, but I didn't know if even Benny deserved that kind of treatment you get from the legion. Maybe they were going to crucify him. Crucified victims were almost the legion trademark these days.

-So what are you gonna do, Boone asked. I sighed.

-I don't really know. I want to get to Benny, but I don't want anything to do with the legion.

-Yeah, I understand you. I scratched my chin thinking about what I should do.

-Well, I don't think the legion will go anywhere so I'll just think about it for a while. I said and stood up. I went to the bed and put the letter on the bedside table and put the necklace in my pocket. I didn't want anyone to take it but I didn't either want to get seen with it.

There were a lot of different factions out here in New Vegas and you could get in to a lot of trouble for being affiliated with one of them. The two most common was the legion and the NCR. They were totally against each other. NCR officers attacked legionaries on sight and the other way around. I personally agreed with the NCR more. They weren't all good, but everything was better than the legion. All those evil things the legion did to people just disgusted me, the NCR just did what they seemed were the best for the people, most of the time.

I remembered the day I met Boone. He had been a sniper working in Novac. He and a man named Manny were keeping an eye out and taking out threats that got to close to the small town. They had both been sharpshooters for the NCR together. Manny had told me about a fight at bitter springs that Boone had fought in. They had tracked down a group of Great Khans and a lot of women, children, and elderly got taken down when they were trying to flee. I knew that Boone thought about it still and it weighed heavily on his conscious, even though he rarely spoke of it.  
There were a lot of smaller factions as well. I had never been to the strip earlier but I knew that it was controlled by a man called Mr House. I had never met him or knew what he was about, I just knew he was the ruler over the strip.

I thought about the legion as I felt the necklace in my pocket. It felt so strange to have it. Like it was wrong to carry it on me. I ran the small chain through my fingers and traced the pattern on the pendant with my thumb. I took it out and looked at it. It was a bull on it, or something like it. The metal was dirty and slightly rusty.

-What are you thinking about? Boone asked as he laid down on the bed, next to me.

-This mark, it feels weird to hold it for some reason. I said with a puzzled look on my face. I think I saw this mark in my dream I had earlier, I continued. It was a lot of people, someone was shouting and I could see a flag with this mark on it. Maybe it was a legion camp?

-Hm, sounds like the place where they sell their slaves, Boone said, realized what he just implied as soon as he finished the sentence and clenched his jaw shut. My whole body froze as I opened my eyes wide open and closed my fists. I couldn't breath. I remembered. It was a slave auction. I was there. I knew it.

-That was why we ran out of there, I almost whispered to myself. The boy from my dream saved me... Boone sat quietly next to me. I didn't know what to with all of these thoughts. I didn't know what to make of it. It was like seeing just small parts of a movie, I had no idea what it all was about.

I lied on my back with my arms covering my face. I felt paralyzed and my head ached.

"_When will you be back, Carissa?"_

I could hear his voice so clearly in my head. Almost like it was yesterday. Yesterday.. I thought. Maybe he was asking when I would be back from my package delivery. I couldn't remember how long it had been since then. A couple of months? He must have thought I was dead. Although he wasn't far off. I did wind up in my own grave that day.

-It feels like there's so much coming back to me over such a short time span. Like the gates opened and everything is just flooding in. It almost feels like I can't take it all at once. I said and turned to my side, facing Boone.

-Yeah, but maybe you'll finally get some answers, he answered. I was glad that memories started to return, I just didn't know it would be this demanding. I felt exhausted.

-I think I'm gonna stay in bed for today. I'm too fucking tired to do anything. Didn't get much sleep either. Boone patted my head.

-I'll head out in the meantime. Gotta get some food and stuff. Will you be okey? Boone asked. I nodded with my face still against the pillow and murmured a goodbye to him.

I laid there for a few hours, thinking. I tried to add up the pieces of the puzzle. Why was I at a slave auction with that boy. It seemed like we were related. Maybe he was my brother. It felt comforting to know that I might have a some family out there, but as more as I added the pieces the more horrific it felt. Maybe my family were being sold at the auction. I frowned my brows as I thought that. I didn't want to think about all the horrible things the legion could be doing to my family, or the horrible ways they could have murdered them. It felt like a stab in my stomach as I thought about my family maybe being slaughtered. It brought me to tears. I buried my face in my pillow and let the tears burst through my eyes. I didn't know if it even had happened at all but just the though was so repulsive.

I laid and cried for what felt like forever. I ran out of tears after a while. Instead of crying I just sat on the bed with red and swollen eyes, hugging the pillow. I almost felt catatonic. I heard the door open to our room. Boone entered with a sack with some food in it. I put it on the floor and walked up to the bed.

-How are you feeling? He said and sat down. I didn't answer. I sat still and starred into the wall, hugging my pillow. Boone scooted closer and put his arm around me. He pulled me down so my head rested on his chest. I started to sob as he slowly stroked his hand over my back. It felt good to be in his arms, but my recently discovered memories still hurt. He didn't say anything, we just sat like that until I eventually fell asleep.

"_Come on Carissa, eat up! You don't want to go hungry on your first day" _I started dreaming about the boy again, only he was grown up now.

-Yeah, yeah, I said as I grabbed the small piece of meat he had prepared for me at stuffed it in my mouth.

-I don't think we'll have to work for long. Just so we get enough caps to get to the strip. It must be safer there than it is here, he said and looked out through the window, seeing the endless miles of wasteland.

-Maybe we'll even get rich gambling, I said jokingly.

-Well, at least we'll be safer from the legionaries, he added. I streak of sadness showed on his face.

-Maybe they're still alive, I said but without much hope in my voice. The boy, who was now grown up, walked over to me and hugged me.

-I hope every day that they got out of there, I said and kissed the top of my head. I could feel myself crying.

-You know. Carissa. Maybe one day we'll become so rich that we can take out the whole legion, or maybe we'll be able to take them on ourselves.

-Yeah, Caspian. We can only hope, I said as I wiped of my tears with the back of my hand.

-But before that I still got to deliver this package. No one seemed to know what it was, I said as I looked at the small package in my hands.

-When will you be back, Carissa? Caspian asked. I shrugged my shoulders.

-In a couple of days, I think. It's too bad you can't come with me. I got to take this to New Vegas. It's a shame to make it all the way up there, only to return here again, only to go back there again.

-Wish I could come with you. I can't leave here for a few days and I can't go alone and meet you up there, with my broken arm and all. It would be to dangerous for me to travel alone.

-Yeah, I get it, Casp, I said as I threw my bag over my back. I'll see you in a few days then, I said and kissed him on the cheek.

-Be careful, sis! He shouted at me as I headed out the door.

I woke up, still with my head resting on Boones chest. I yawned and stretched before rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I laid quietly for a while, thinking through my dream. It had been another memory, I could remember that day. It was the same day I got shot. It all started to add up for real. I could remember so much compared to yesterday. I knew, partly, who I was.

It felt strange. Like I woke up and was somehow a different person, but still myself. The boy from my dream was my brother. Caspian was his name, but I always called him Casp. He always called me Carr or Cari. I knew I was 23 years old, and Casp was 25, if he was still alive. I didn't know what had happened to my parents. The last time I saw them they were being sold by the legion. I couldn't remember any concrete memories, except for the ones in my dreams, but I had realized who I was.

I sat up in the bed. Looking down at myself, trying to see me with my new memories in place.

-Fuck Boone... I said quietly. I finally think I know who I am. Boone scooted up in a half sitting position.

-Oh..?

-Yeah, it's strange, I'll tell ya that, I said with a puzzled tone. My name is Carissa, and I think I'm 23 years old. The boy from my dream is called Caspian. I think he's my brother. I frowned my brows as I ran through all of my memories, making sure I had added them up correctly.

-Carissa, Boone repeated after me.

-Yeah, but everyone seemed to call me Cari or Carr, or my brother used to at least.

-Kinda sounds like Carla.. Boone said quietly and looked down with sadness in his eyes.

-My parents.. I started. They got the same fate as her... Only they didn't have the luxury of dying. I said and I could feel the tears starting to run down my cheeks. Boone grabbed me and tightly wrapped his arms around me. As soon as I was in his embrace the tears started to thrive, rapidly rolling down my face, soaking Boones shirt.

My tears seemed to dry out after a while. I still sat in Boones arms. His grips was tight around me.

-Do you think my bother could still be alive? I asked.

-He could be, Boone answered, but still doubted it. I remembered his arm being injured when I left. That's why he couldn't come with me. But if he would have came with me he most likely wouldn't be alive by now. I doubted Benny would have a problem killing two people instead of just one.

-If he his alive he must think I'm dead by now.

-Maybe he's looking for you, Boone said and stroked my arm with his fingers.

-Maybe. I hoped that he was.

I touched Boones chest with the palm of my hand. I loved touching his chest.

-How's your wound feeling?

-It's fine, haven't checked on it though. I stroked my fingers over is stomach.

-Yeah, we should check it later. Might be time to get those stitches of soon as well. Boone laid down on his back on the bed, with his arms behind his head. I laid down next to him and rested my head on his chest, laying my hand on his stomach. Boone put his arm round me.

-Wanna go down to the lobby and get a drink? He asked, with his lips against the top of my head.

-Mm, soon, I murmured. It sounded nice to get a drink, and maybe chatting with Amanda again, she was nice, but I wanted to stay here in Boones arms just a little while longer.

-Come on, lets get up, Boone said and lifted me off of him. I frowned but still crawled out of bed.

-Mmm, a glass of vodka sounds nice, I murmured as we walked towards the door. We went down the stairs and sat down by the counter. I was glad when I saw Amanda behind the register.

-Can we have some vodka, please, I said as I laid my head on the desk.

-Sure, she said as she chuckled slightly. Rough day?

-Rough isn't even the beginning of it, I sighed as I took a sip from my glass. The vodka slightly burned in my throat. Amanda blushed as she handed Boone his glass.

-Here you go, she said with a shy voice. Boone didn't meet her gaze as he thanked her. Amanda kept his eyes on him for a while before looking back at me.

-Isn't it exciting? She asked. I looked inquiring at her, not being sure what she meant.

-You know, being out there, in the wasteland. I bet you get to see all kind of exiting stuff! She said with a happy grin on her face. You could see she hadn't been outside of the strip much. Boone sort of snorted at her assumption.

-It's not all it's cracked up to be, he said with a sarcastic tone and finished his glass, pounding it against the table as he set it down.

-Hey Boone, don't be rude, I said as I gently smacked his arm. Two more please, I added and chugged down the last of my drink. Amanda poured up two more glasses and handed them to us.

-Well, I would at least like to see what it's like out there once, she said.

-I guess I can get that, I said and took a sip. Me personally, I would like to stay somewhere safe, like here, forever. Maybe have a family or some shit like that, I said and smiled at the idea.

-I couldn't imagine you settling down, Boone said. It feels like you were made to wander.

-Maybe you're right... Maybe this was my destiny, I thought.

-Wow, to wander, it sounds really cool, Amanda said and looked dreamy. Boone rolled his eyes at me. I felt kinda bad for Amanda, but I could understand Boones annoyance after what he had been through, or after what we've both been through. It hadn't been easy on any of us, but at least I had the luxury of not remembering it for a while.

I could feel the vodka making me feel slightly dizzy. Amanda stood and wiped the counter with an old rag.

-So, where's your mom? I asked her. She shrugged her shoulders.

-Don't know. She has a lot of costumers in the evening.

-Customers?

-Yeah, I don't really know what her business is but she says she has costumers to take care of. She says they bring in the big bucks, Amanda said and got back to her wiping. I looked at Boone and I could see he thought it was as sketchy as I thought it was, but we didn't say anything. Instead there was silence for a while as we sipped our drinks. I put my hand in my pocket and started to play with the necklace inside. I stroked my fingers over it a few times before I could feel something else. It felt like a small key chain. I pulled it out and I could see there was a key attached to it. It was engraved. "Pres. Suite" it said. I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I had completely forgot about it.

-Boone! Look what I got, I said as I dangled the key in front of him.

-What it is?

-I forgot I still had this. It's the key to the presidential suite at the tops, I said, securing the key in the palm of my hand again.

-Won't Bennys guys be there?

-Well, I don't think they have any idea who I am or what Benny are up to, to be honest. If they did they would have stopped me as soon as I entered the casino.

-Well, what about the bodyguards you killed?

-Oh... Yeah... I forgot about them... I said and downed the rest of the vodka. Well, we could go check it out. I mean, it would be free. Aren't our caps running out?

-You got a point.. Boone said and looked thoughtful. Lets check it out, he said and threw a couple of caps on the counter. My head spun as I stood up.

It had gotten dark outside. We walked to the tops casino and got greeted by someone I didn't saw the first time I was here.

-Hi baby doll, welcome to the tops. The name's Swank, you dig? He talked the same way Benny did.

-Uhm, hi, I have a room here, I was wondering if it's still available, I said and showed him my key.

-Ooh, the prez suite. You must be Bennys broad then. I think I saw you the other day. And yeah, feel free to use it. It's on the house. Benny told me to treat his women with respect, he said as he winked at me.

-Oh well, thanks then. Do you know where Benny is? I asked, wondering if he knew what Benny had been up to and that he had been captured by the legion.

-Nah, the Ben-man comes and goes. He can be gone for long times. Said he had some business. Feelin' a bit lonely, doll face? Swank said and flirtatiously smiled at me.

-Um, yeah.. Just tell me if he gets back?

-Yeah, sure doll, he said. I was about to leave as Swank called on me.

-Hey, almost forgot! He said and gestured for me to come closer. Benny told me to expect a err cleanup at your suite. It has been taken care off, he said in a low tone. Didn't expect them to be dressed as chairmen though, but ya know. Just wanted to tell you it had been taken care of, hun. My body froze but I nodded at him and thanked him. The cleanup Benny told him about was supposed to be me.


End file.
